My siblings and I are the baby cousins of our extended family. I have had cousins that have married and divorced and some cousins that refuse to marry at all. I had never really given the tradition much thought. I just assumed this was a transition that everyone goes through in life. You get older, you buy a house, settle down and get married. It never crossed my mind that there was any alternative. As I have gotten older, I understand the complexity of relationships now compared to when I was twelve years old.
Over the last few years, I have notice a shift within my friend group, where they are starting to get married and have children, although not always in that order. My Facebook feed is filled with engagement announcements, wedding videos and images of pregnant bellies. I had never really felt the pressure of wondering what comes next, but it is something that is now a more constant topic of conversation.
My boyfriend and I have definitely discussed the future. We are happy together and I feel we are on the same page, moving at a pace that is comfortable to both of us. He has always voiced how much he detests marriage, being a child of divorce, it is hard for him to feel positively about the experience. I thought about it many times if this is something matters to me. How a piece of paper could really implement my life. I realized that I could do without marriage, but I definitely want a wedding; not for the reasons you probably think. It is not about the fancy gifts, or the over the top ceremonies, it is about sharing my life’s milestones with the people I care about.
All the major milestones in life are celebrated, there are ceremonies for births, deaths, graduations and anniversaries. The times that are most important to us are usually shared among the people that are close to us. I don’t think a wedding is a milestone I could omit from my life.
The moment it hit me the most, was last week, when I was unfortunate enough to attend a funeral. Funerals are never fun, but I find they always leave me pondering life and my decisions. The funeral I attended was very traditional, I found it was hard for me to feel closure after the ceremony. I didn’t feel her legacy was represented in the service, but that was what she had wanted for herself.
For my grandmother we did a celebration of life. We shared all our fond memories of her, the times she was there for us, the times when she taught us a lesson and the moments in our lives that were impacted because of her. There was so much love in the room that day. I remember leaving and feeling sad that I did not spend more time with her, and missing her but I also felt glad that we all got to share in her greatness one more time and smile at an inappropriate joke in her honour.
A wedding is a time where friends and family can gather and witness the day, where you decide that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your day with. A chance to share the love story, and a chance to remember the reason why you fell in love and why this person is going to become such a significant person in you life.
I know when everyone asks me about my boyfriend, I usually say he is my favorite person. He may not be my favorite person all the time, but he has his moments. I know that he is always going to make me laugh. I appreciate him for the person he is, all his quirks that I have gotten to know over the years. We have shared so many experiences together and I would like to share so much of what he brings to my life with the people that I really care for. The quote life is too short, has always seemed so contradictory to me, our lives are all we have, so why not celebrate them. Celebrate happiness, and band together in times of sadness. When you get married you chose your family and you decide who you want to have as part of your life.
I want a wedding, I want a baby shower, I want a celebration of life, because it is important to share your life with the people that mean the most to you. Don’t let these moments pass you by.
